Being comfortable with yourself is a skill that can take a while to hone. Some of us are naturally quite good at dealing with loneliness while others struggle to spend time with themselves without anyone else around.
I had always thought of myself as very good at spending time completely alone, but have recently realized that I actually like being around people a lot more. I’ve gone from a total introvert to something in between!
Discovering this new side of myself has been both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because I actually finally enjoy being around people and don’t feel drained as easily as I did just a year ago. A curse because every lonely moment induces anxiety within me. I hate being alone.
I remember being in a hotel in Amsterdam alone and struggling to feel happy. Suddenly, my emotions were tied with having others around me to keep my spirits up. As a self-identified introvert, I struggled to come to terms with this realization.
And this is when I knew that I had to become my own best friend. I had to enjoy my own company. As macabre as it is, we will all die alone, so might as well embrace loneliness. How you feel about yourself when no one is there watching is a lot more important than you think.
You have to learn to live with yourself. Your good and bad, beautiful and ugly. You have to be comfortable with every single aspect of yourself, no matter what, otherwise life will be much more difficult than it already is.
Coming to terms with who you are and building a strong relationship with yourself is crucial for attaining inner peace.
You have to understand that to give and receive from others, you must first nourish yourself. You have to be your own best friend. This begins by asking yourself a few questions.
What do I need?
What is missing? Are you feeling disconnected from your partner or your parents? Are you feeling tired, anxious, or stressed?
Maybe a day off might help rejuvenate you. Perhaps it would be the right time to have a good, long chat with someone close to you whom you haven’t connected with in a while.
Set aside work and other commitments, even if it’s for only an hour, and cater to your needs
How do I truly feel?
Examine your daily life and try your best to be honest with yourself. What is going well? What isn’t? List those things.
Now, start brainstorming: How can I have more of what is going well and less of what isn’t? What strategies or tactics can I utilize to transform my life, even if it’s only in a small way?
Where am I headed?
How can tomorrow be better? What, in your future, are you excited about? What can you do today to bring about what you want to come ahead?
These are questions we sometimes forget to ask ourselves. With the flow of life, work, and a plethora of responsibilities, we tend to forget ourselves. As the years go by, we come to see that we’ve given so much to everyone else, but barely anything to ourselves.
Take the time to consider these questions and much of the fog surrounding your life may be lifted. The more you learn about yourself and understand who you truly are, the more comfortable you will be with being alone.