“We do not need magic to transform our world. We carry all the power we need inside ourselves already.” ― J.K. Rowling
It was 3 AM.
I was on the bathroom floor of my studio apartment in Istanbul, bawling my eyes out.
The tiles felt cool under my bare legs as I leaned my head against the cabinet of the tiny IKEA sink in this tiny bathroom.
My curly, dry hair was a disheveled mane around my pale face, eyes red after days and nights of tears.
It was a bathroom floor moment, as Elizabeth Gilbert would call it.
Becoming self-aware has taken me years of trial and error.
There was a time when I did things without realizing, never stopping to think about why I was doing something or thinking a certain thought.
It wasn’t until a health scare that I noticed my lack of self-awareness.
I hadn’t noticed the signs, how stressed and overworked I was until I struggled to breathe for an entire week, feeling like death was near.
Self-awareness is knowing and understanding yourself, being in tune with your thoughts and feelings.
Someone who is self-aware can look at themselves objectively, understanding how to navigate…
Do you ever notice your mind rushing to find a new problem to tackle while you’re reading a book or trying to relax after a long day?
You’re chilling on the couch, scrolling through Netflix for a good movie to watch as you sip on your preferred beverage. You’re in a good mood and feeling ready to just completely let go.
Suddenly, you’re reminded of a problem you had earlier that day. You shake your head and push it away, refusing to let anything ruin your evening.
But then, a few minutes up to half an hour later, you’re pondering…
“It’s a strange feeling, realising that other people you don’t know have their own, full lives that don’t touch yours.”
― Mackenzi Lee, The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue
I was raised by parents who were very distrustful and skeptical of the world around them.
I imbibed this skepticism and noticed throughout my life, especially into my late teens and early twenties, that I was starting to become a rather bitter young woman.
Sadly, I seemed to be consumed by the idea that only ill could come from embracing strangers.
In my mind, you were guilty until proven innocent.
Recently, I’ve come to realize that I have a harpy in my head.
This voice reminds me how stupid I am when I make a mistake and wakes me up in the middle of the night to remind me of humiliating events that happened a decade ago.
However, when I sit with myself, in silence, I can sometimes hear the whispers of a more encouraging, kind voice that tries to remind me of the positive.
I think many of us have a Cruella and a Charlotte (from Charlotte’s Web) battling in our heads.
Cruella is the cruel, cold voice that…
“It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it’s called Life.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent
A professor in college once told me that remembering death every single day brings him peace and gives meaning to his work.
I asked him what questions he asked himself or what he did to remember death so regularly.
He told me about the skull he kept on his desk at home and how looking into those dark, empty sockets every morning was what pushed him to do his best.
Personally, I’d rather not…
“You’re such an emotionally insecure person. You will continue to fail at life if every little thing throws you off balance.”
A loved one whose counsel I highly value once told me this when I was crying over something rather insignificant that had happened in my life at the time.
And it stung. A lot. It felt like a slap in the face. But it was the truth. A truth I had to hear.
Looking back, I appreciate their honesty.
They made me realize that I wasn’t emotionally balanced. …
“You’re ugly. You will always be ugly. Why can’t you look good for once? What is wrong with your face?”
About four years ago, I struggled with my self-image, and asking myself why I was so ugly was a common occurrence.
It’s difficult to write this. Difficult to think of my younger self, suffering from self-hatred.
I wish I could go back and hug her, tell her that it’ll all be alright and that I had to put in the work to change my mindset.
It wasn’t going to happen overnight.
I remember thinking that I couldn’t see myself as…
“Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself-and be lenient to everybody else.”
― Henry Ward Beecher
What does self-resilience mean to you? Are you a resilient person?
Building self-resilience is the key to having an extraordinary life.
Resilient people believe and trust in themselves. They go after what they want rather than sit back and let others make decisions for them.
As a highly sensitive person, I struggled for years to accept that I was emotionally and mentally weak.
I was offended…
Beep! Beep! — Beep! Beep!
I roll onto my right side to reach over and silence the rude awakening emanating from the phone on my nightstand.
After rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I smiled, remembering that it was the morning of Friday, January 1st, 2021.
We were all excited for 2020 to end and I woke up that morning deciding it would be a great first day of the year.
I remember jumping out of bed, pulling my journal out from the drawer in my desk, and writing out the top five lessons I learned from the past…